I need to write more

I just got told that I need to write, because I’m good at it. It feels odd, having someone tell me I’m good at something. I have a reflexive reaction to deflect praise and pretend I’m not good at anything. I don’t know, honestly, if I have any chops as a writer, but I suppose it’s worth a go. I’ll try to write more updates here, for a start. But less personal stuff. That’s changed, there’s other things happening that don’t allow for the public catharsis I was going for before, and I’m going to try and come up with either more abstract or downright fictional things I can write. Maybe short stories? They’re excellent practice, and honestly, my main problem is not practicing. Writing, at least in the crude way I understand it, responds to practice, to putting blood on the line. Moving your mind and your hands to make something. Like any creative endeavor it requires an overall idea, blocked out in large swathes, then whittled down to its essence. Like finding the shape within a block of marble, or some bullshit metaphor like that.

I enjoyed writing about books. I just wrapped up The Twelve, the second book of Justin Cronin’s Passage trilogy. It’s odd…it didn’t hook me in. The world is so insanely stark that I think maybe I ended up with some scarring from the first novel, and The Twelve simply didn’t hammer me as hard emotionally as The Passage did. Excellent adventure stories, and some very wonderfully written descriptive scenes. Cronin has an interesting approach to metaphor as well, and I occasionally found myself laughing happily at the imagery he employs…other times kind of skimming over it. A worthwhile read, all things taken together, and I recommend it.

I also not too long ago read Stephen King’s The Stand, which came highly recommended (it’s been around quite a while I know. I just haven’t read much King). I had a good time reading this book, right up til the ending. No spoilers, but I was pretty disappointed with how it ended. I’d read McCarthy’s The Road right before it, and was much more satisfied with that read, ultimately, than with The Stand. I’m kind of a homer for Cormac McCarthy, though, so take that with a grain of salt.

Apparently I’m on an apocalypse kick lately. Anyone got any suggestions for good end-of-the-world books? I’ve always been more interested in the aftermath than the actual whatever happened to initiate it, so bear that in mind.

Doop di Tooozday

Heavy shit I’ve been writing! Maybe something less heavy today. Media consumption perhaps?

I read the Cormac McCarthy book The Road, which was made into a movie starring Viggo Mortensen (Mac from Sunny: “VIRGO MORTENSTEIN!”[punches a girl in the face]) . I liked the book fine, it was a bit brutal. But knowing Viggo was in it, and making the character in the book look like him, was tough in my brain because I haven’t seen the movie, I just know he was in it. So while I mentally invented the kid from whole cloth, I had to use Aragorn to stand in for the man, which made for some odd moments in the story, in my head anyway.

Fig. 1

I’ve begun watching a series on Netflix called “Lost Girl“. It’s possibly the worst show ever. Take the cheesiness of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and remove the charm of the writing, replace that with awkward Canadians trying to act like wise-cracking Americans (but oooh how they struggle not to apologize every time they insult each other!). Sprinkle liberal doses of side-boob, butts, and near-Cinemax-level sex scenes (they refuse to show a nipple for some reason, on a female at least, but everything short of full frontal seems to fly), and for some reason I can’t stop watching. Luckily there’s only two seasons on Netflix and I’m almost done, the fever will run its course. One redeeming quality is the sidekick chick Kenzi. She hits my right in the golly-she’s-pretty areas. No officer not the bathing suit areas. I’ve always been a sucker for the waify big eyed lots of eyeliner type. See Fig. 1.

I started re-reading The Kraken by China Miéville (still no idea how to spell that dirty Marxist’s name). Still as enjoyable as I remember. You go, Mee-yeh-ville? My-ay-vee? My-vile?

The second book in Justin Cronin’s Passage series is out. I’m going to wait a bit to get it, I don’t have money to spend $18 on an ebook right now. I may re-read the first one, too. That story was pretty funky if I remember correctly, with like a hundred years just popping up between chapters at one point. I will report!

Here’s a song for Nikki.



Middle Brother

Middle Brother

Early in the morning too hungover to go back to sleep.

Every sound is amplified, every light so dizzying.

Listen for a while to the neighbors having sex

Wishing I could lay my aching head upon your breast.


Can’t I dream another dream?

Can’t I close my eyes and wander back to sleep?


But I’m daydreaming about you.

I know that it’s wrong.

That I’m daydreaming about you

Cuz I’ve been daydreaming for so long.


A Bloody Mary afternoon, waste my time out in the sun.

Hum myself some melodies, maybe I can sing you one.

Maybe I could find you sitting down at the cafe.

Maybe I could join you at your table today.


Can’t I just get what I want?

Can’t I be the man that steals away your heart?


But I’m daydreaming about you.

I know that it’s wrong.

That I’m daydreaming about you.

I’ve been daydreaming for so long.

Yeah, I’ve been daydreaming for so long.


Later in the evening take the bus down and see the show.

He’ll be behind the bar. I’ll get a beer, leave a tip and lay low.

I’m just a kid that gets his drinks from you

And stands around and doesn’t have a clue.


Can’t I hold you close to me?

Can’t I ever say to you just what I mean?


But I’m daydreaming about you.

I know that it’s wrong

That I’m daydreaming about you.

Cuz I’ve been daydreaming for so long.

Oh yeah, I’ve been daydreaming for so long.


rare saturday lyric

UPDATE: a midi file for the song. Ryan swore up and down he could make it fit on a guitar. Honest. No, really.
okay. anyone who hasn’t read terry pratchett’s “discworld” books, or reads this post and doesn’t immediately read one, has officially lost at least 50% of the respect that i had for them. if i have much to begin with, that can be a crippling blow.

The Hedgehog Song
Nanny Ogg

“Bestiality sure is a fun thing to do
But I have to say this as a warning to you:
With almost all creatures, you can have ball
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
They’ll give you a pain in the worst place they can
The result I think you’ll find will appall:
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

Mounting a horse can often be fun
An elephant too; though he weighs half a ton
Even a mouse (though his hole is quite small)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

The spines on his back are so awful thick
you’ll end up with naught but a painful prick.
He has an impregnable hole when curled up in a ball,
Hence the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

Screwing a cow while she goes moo-moo
Will be entertaining to both her and you
Or you might try a tiger, if you have enough gall
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet
And a cat or a dog can be more than a pet
Even a giraffe (despite being so tall)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


You can manage a snake, though its poison might kill,
It’s amazing how humping a camel will thrill
You can go with a snail if you slow to a crawl
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

You can ravish a sloth but it would take all night
With a shark it is faster, but the darned beast might bite
We already mentioned the horse, you recall
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


You can roger a skunk if you can stand the smell
Or even an oyster, should he let go of his shell
A troll can be rocky if down you should fall
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

For slippery fun, you can cornhole an otter
Or pego a pig after parting his trotters
Or tumble a tapir, though the prospect appall
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


For prosimian fun, you can bugger a lemur
To bolster your name as a pervert and schemer
The lemurs cry “Frink!” as a coy mating call
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

Antipodean pranks — you can futter a wombat
Or strive with a ‘roo in venereal combat
Or hump a goanna — go on, do it all
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

A moose is amusing, a squid quite confusing
Or try on a rhino if you fancy a bruising,
Or mountin’ a mountain goat (careful, don’t fall!)
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.