last post of the year

I’ve been doing this webpage for a while huh?

This was a tough year, wannit…on a large scale, more Bush, more lies, more death, more dissolution, more rancor and division. Less patriotism and more nationalism. Less sympathy and more warmongering. More dead soldiers and civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan, and dead everywhere in Africa and Asia. Death for oil continues seemingly unabated.

Hurricanes, tsunami, earthquakes, floods, tornados, avalanches, heatwaves, and other disasters have tested everyone’s mettle, and cost us precious lives.

We’ve sent folks abroad to be tortured, we’ve lost battles, we’ve lost some of the essential characteristics of American-ness that keep us going.

In a lot of ways it’s depressing.

But we’ve won some battles too, and seen heartening developments. The outpouring of support for victims of disasters was unprecedented…in the billions of dollars and millions upon millions of hours of work and aid given by individuals, corporations and government.

The press seems to be painfully awakening from it’s long dormancy, pointing out the fables and lies of the most corrupt administration in our nation’s brief history.

Labor is slowly advancing, the behemoth structures of the AFL-CIO and others adapting in the face of probable doom…of course, the strength of labor is under the workmen’s cap, not the boardroom table, so all those powdered faces at the top are pretty superfluous to begin with. That in a nutshell describes what Labor will have to deal with in the coming years.

Science, under relentless attack from the forces of complete idiocy (intelligent design, anti-global warming, women’s “health” morons) is responding, in it’s own way, from broadsides and judicial victories against the stpuidity of ID to the constant efforts of environmental scientists.

Maybe there’s hope yet. Hang tight, we’ll see if the bus heads off the cliff or veers back to safety…

felt like posting. i sent some money to Digby. Great blog, great insight.

Liberal means free. some people think “Liberals are destroying america!” I think Liberals created America, and continue to perfect it. it’s the “conservatives” that hunker down in caves and attack anything, no matter how far the remove from themselves, that they don’t like or understand, or even more importantly, that cuts into their profit margin.

my back hurts.

remember that the same Rightwingers who screamed bloody murder during Clinton’s presidency are the first ones to roll over and offer excuses when Bush admits to illegally monitoring American citizens. John Aravosis has an interesting theory as to why he’d allow it.

washington post calls “lies” “prevarications”. The lengths the press will go to not level a direct line at the white house are stunning.

We’re still killing the planet, in case anyone forgot

lordy lord i was stuck on dialup for almost a whole week. it made me feel like both of my balls were gone entirely. i wanted to weep watching pages slowly fill. you don’t know, truly know, how much you love something til it’s gone.

so it’s back now and i’m back up to lightspeed and damn it feels good. go post me a note in my forums. bastards. especially you tolek, how come you don’t talk to me anymore? tyler doesn’t return calls either. it is to weep like woman.

i was fucking around with the settings in blogger and it made my site break. i guess it’s cuz i had that comment mod on it that made new forum posts generate automatically. stupid tempermental shit.

if you had a forums account, re-sign-up. i have admin approval required now so we won’t get as much spam, though it was very little to begin with. i’m going to continue fucking with the forums though, a photo album might be cool…who would use it?

oy

(1) Lobster god… 8 inches long… Creator of the universe and all powerfull deity… lots of spikes, if seen please call 303-555-1212

Some stores are better than others.

This is so fucking awesome.

“Duke” Cunningham pleads GUILTY to charges of fraud, mail fraud, tax evasion, and conspiracy to commit fraud. Not “not guilty” or “no plea” but GUILTY. Guilty as fuck. I am so fucking stoked to see this scumbag go down. Ten years in jail possible, but unlikely. Rot in fucking hell Duke.

God this is giving me chills. Fucking front page news all over the country. God damn straight. GOP corruption on the front page, where it should be. These evil fuckers lie, cheat and steal, and at least one is getting his comeuppance.

I figured you all (what, Paul an Chris?) could use a shot of porn to start the week.

How was your holiday?

I’m sitting here thinking…I quit smoking yet again, and every other time I’ve sat and thought “Jesus I wish I could have a fucking cigarette” and looked up and I’m at the 7-11 pathetically buying a pack, not even really understanding how I got there. So I’m sitting here thinking, and I realize it’s coming on, the feeling, “Jesus, I wish I could have a fucking cigarette.” and part of me just snaps a little, and I say in my head “I wish smoking was fun still, but it’s not”. It’s no fun. It used to be fun, but now all I do is think “I’m going to get cancer and my kid will cry and she won’t have me when she needs me. My mom won’t have me when she needs me. My girlfriend and I won’t ever get married, or if we do I’ll be her dead husband and that much worse.” I think that and I still want a smoke. I think, “I won’t be happy or good or feel like anything other than a body smoking away like my poor grandmother did, smoking til she died on her couch.”

I’m sitting here thinking of my grandmother. My powerful, foolish, amazing grandmother, who kept me and my brother so safe and helped her disparate daughters and assloads of friends and family and acquaintances. She was so loved. She wasted away in the end. I remember hiding from her once, when I was little and we’d (me & my brother) stay there all the time because mom was working 60-hour weeks. I hid behind her couch, and fell asleep, and she was so frantic trying to find me. She worried about everything. I remember her trying to get me to eat liver…she cajoled and threatened and begged and bargained, thinking it would be good for us, because in her mind liver is good for you. I took a bite eventually, and stood up silently, walked my little 6-year-old ass to the trash and spat it out. Other kids would have gotten it upside the head but all I got was a laugh and an “I guess you won’t have any liver anymore, huh!” from my grandmother. She didn’t want to feel bad, or make others feel bad.

i’m sitting here thinking I wish I could be as loyal and strong and dedicated as my mom and my grandmother, and how I have to start right now. I have no choice in this: either I am who I think I am, or I’m not. This is not just a fight for my life…we all lose that eventually. It’s more important, in a larger view. It’s a fight for my identity, in the quiet places that are truly mine. And I will be who I am, who I think I am.

I’m sitting here thinking of my grandmother, and hoping I can be almost like her…I still miss her completely. I remember sitting in her living room, near the end, when she never got off the couch, and she would ask me to buy her smokes because my mom wouldn’t do it anymore. And we’d sit there and have a smoke. I felt all grown up at first, but a slow realization of what was happening grew. At that point she hardly got off her couch.

I don’t want to be there…I want to be almost like her. I want to be as strong and fierce as her, and loyal like her, and smart like her. That’s who I’m trying to be right now. That’s who I will be. That’s who I am.

Paul Krugman consistently brilliant. Here’s his explanation of health coverage by market forces vs. govnernment application. Market or corporate based solutions are not always the best solution. They do not always help the most people. Because we as a nation believe in social justice as well as free enterprise, state power must be vigorous. Period. And next time your libertarian friend says “But!” tell him to shut the fuck up already and go back to his fantasyland.

Weeedly widdley widdley widdley widdley widdley widdley waaaaah!
That’s called…I wanna rock your body, baby. Parantheses, til the break of dawn.