The days are getting longer here, although it’s still cold. I feel like I’m disconnected from the place I’m in though…I get in my car, I go to work, get back in the car, go home. Sometimes I stop at a grocery store. I don’t have any connection to this area, this region. I’m not from here. It’s upsetting.

It’s a little weird seeing the nuclear hysteria happening. I’ve spent my whole life aware of the fact that I could be blasted to dust at any moment, possibly because someone missed their meds, and it’s not really that impactful to me. By which I mean, there’s a walled-off part of my psyche that just screams endlessly. But it’s like a ringing in your ear; you go on with your day.

I distract myself with inanities and it works pretty well.

Take me to the river indeed.

Being so far from the ocean is rough, I hate not being next to that seemingly infinite blue absence of people. It was more of a release for me than I realized, just sitting by the sea being emptied by it. Here I have…a river? I guess. It seems like a muddy stream. Even the bigger rivers, they don’t do much. They lack vastness.

You should see the way it shits.