I’d recommend Greg Beato just eviscerating Michelle Malkin for a fun read. Anytime one of the pompous, hypocritical, crimes-against-humanity-types gets some of the wind taken out of their gigantic asses, I’m good with it. Apparently, Malkin got her non-thong underwear in a giant, sandy twist when Rolling Stone had a picture of Christina Aguilera on it, mostly naked-ish. She gets herself all lathered up going on about skanks and declining moral values, and, somehow, how it’s all feminists fault.

Wuggity wha?

As Beato notes:
Or to put it another way, Playboy used to be a fusty, highbrow magazine devoted to theater criticism. And Hustler specialized in entrepreneurial advice. But then Betty Friedan and Kate Millett gave Hugh Hefner and Larry Flynt the go-ahead, and things started changing. Next, Gloria Steinem revealed that only boob jobs would allow women to achieve economic parity. And then Andrea Dworkin started arguing that ass cleavage was actually the best way to subvert the phallocentric hegemony. And after that, Naomi Wolf started exclaiming that uptight bitches who can’t suck a bowling ball through a cocktail straw will never experience true self-esteem, and that fat thighs are really just the Goddess’s way of saying, “Fuck you, you dirty cow whore!”

Or in other words “Michelle Malkin, you is one crazy-assed crack-ho biatch.”

THe last few weeks have been kind of trying. Desi’s brother got super-sick and we had to take him to the hospital, it turned out to be Spinal Meningitis, which is an infection of the tissue surrounding the spinal column, or meninges. We didn’t know if it was bacterial (very bad, contagious) or viral (not as bad, not contagious), but the poor bastard was in a lot of pain and couldn’t eat or drink. He ended up in the hospital for almost a week, and now they’re afraid he’s got pneumonia…the guy already took care of leukemia, he should seriously get a pass for life from diseases.

There’s a guy who’s serving in our Senate, the Senate of the People of the United States of America, and he’s a fucking lunatic from Pennsylvania. He believes that women, of any age or marital status, should not be allowed to use birth control. I’m not lying, the fuckin’ whacko seriously believes that. He believes that in vitro fertilization clinics are evil. He also, humorously, believes that he can read dead people’s minds, like all “original intent” strict constructionist Constitutional “scholars”. I mean, seriously, how great an idea can it be if it relies on reading the mind of a dead Founding Father? It made me write a letter:

Dear Strict Constructionist:
I’m glad you could take a break from your Ouija board to read my letter. I was wondering if you’d read my dead grandmother’s mind, and see what the safe combination was. Plus, where she hid her meds. Because you’re fuckin’ crazy, and might think you can do just that.
Yours,
-g-

Really, though, Santorum is just another GOP hypocrite. Duh.

Of course, I got confused and mailed it to myself (neat trick! I heard (of course, I’d never do it) that if you reverse the addresses on a letter, like, put your addy as the mailing address, and the other as the return, it will be returned to the people you wanted to mail it to…pretty sneaky, huh?), but I think my point was made. Oh yes.

I did in fact write an email to an NPR interviewer who had “Crazy Lunatic” Santorum on. In this interview, I’m not kidding, he complained that Christians are oppressed in this country (despite and 80% self-identification rate as “Christian”), that people called him names (he read off a freaking list from his Blackberry….jesus. Turn the other cheek often, psycho?), and that evolution was a “theory” (note to morons: it is not a theory, but a fact). The interviewer reitereated the term “Theory of Evolution” which is what set me off. I hate that. It was cool that he wrote back, though he claimed that his listeners are “smart enough to make up their own minds, which you seem to have no problem doing”. Yuk yuk, nice snark, dick. Of course, he’s wrong. I’m not “making my mind up” about FACTS. They’re pesky things, baby. You can’t pick your own set of them.

I’ve had people nearly kill me on the road so very many times of late it’s sickening. I don’t know what to make of it. I feel like I’m in that unendingly bad movie, Final Destination. Except my Death is an incompetent fat chick driving a Toyota Tacoma. Hmm…I smell a sequel! Death Drives a Pale Toyota: Attack of the Krispy Kremes! Here’s a picture of a big dude swimming with his dog.

Some band names I’ve come up with of late:

• 50-Horse Johnson (my little brother helped)
• Garth Army
• Harry Deviant

I went up yesterday and stayed at a motel for my Jeopardy tryout today. I barely made it in time, despite being a mere .6 miles (according to google maps) from Sony Pictures, where the Jeopardy set is. I went on in with about 100 other folks and managed to blow the 50 question quiz, missing a lot of easy ones, like what “bird science” is (ornithology, I knew that, dammit) and the capitol of Bulgaria (Sofia, I knew that too). So, I blew my chance at getting on Jeopardy. The good news is that I get to try again next year (which I will).
Other than that I got to see John Otter for a short while, and Kiyoshi for a longer while, which was cool. He gave me some cool Simpsons trading cards (a game, apparently) and he gave Des some japanese chocolates, and bought us a sushi dinner, which rocked. It was all in all a fun time, and I was happy to get to spend some time out in the world with Des.
We stopped off on the way home at a view point near San Onofre and met up with the fattest squirrel I’ve ever seen. We fed him and his brethren many hot Cheetos, sadly to no hilarious effect. I think squirrels look evil; Desi thinks they look cute. Weirdo.

Here we go! The Bushies want CC companies to force YOU to pay 4% instead of 2% minimum! Hooray! The logic? You’ll get out of debt sooner! Um. Of course, if you can’t AFFORD to make minimum payments, because, I dunno, you entered into a fucking agreement with certain terms, then tough shit for you I guess. The fucking guy they quote in the article linked says you should…get this…contact your fucking credit card company and “negotiate” a lower interest rate. Yeah, that’ll happen. “Why, you want to wiggle out of our main profit center? Sure, here you go!” Riiiiight.

This is Whammy #2, after the bankruptcy bill. You can see the shape of the GOP’s servitude to big business. What’s better than destroying Labor from the top down? Enslaving it to debt from the bottom up! As Digby put it: “Seriously, I can understand why the credit card companies want to do this now that they are protected from people having their debts discharged when they suddenly can’t make their monthly payments. But on what basis does a Republican government excuse its meddling into the private financial affairs of American citizens?

I know Monday usually sucks big giant hair-matted monster donkey cock, but you know, it’s one-seventh of our lives, give or take what day you were born on, which is so infinitessimal it makes me wonder why I bring it up.

Fafblog has a great Lance Armstrong-related post up, I think it’s actual reportage from on the scene. Very, very uplifting.

luv, g

Ok,
These attacks are really starting to piss me off.
In the last month they have been trying to blow up London.
Although I don’t know anyone who actually lives in London, It is the capitol of the country I am still a citizen of. Kind of like major bombing going on in DC when you live in Kenya… Kind of gets under your skin a little. But now they are taking it too far, and not just taking lives of the people we love, but seriously fucking with my finances, and my vacation.
Now they are gunning for Egypt
For the last 6 months or so, I have been eating top ramen for lunch every day and ignoring all kinds of wants and needs (except for motorcycles, but that is a different post) to scrimp and save to take a 10 day cruise down the Nile river. Well… We bought the plane tickets (non refundable I might add) last week to get us there, and the tour packages where paid for (also non refundable) a couple of months ago. All told somewhere around 5 grand. And now we are faced with a decision about scrapping it all and fucking off to Mexico for a couple of weeks instead. This pretty well pisses me off. $5K…. 5 thousand dollars… 500,000 pennies. You know what that is? That’s a new car…
That’s a new kitchen and back yard. That’s a thousand pounds of gummy worms. (Could you imagine that?) But here is the fucked up part…
People died.
88 at last count. Hundreds maimed and injured countless losses of tourism and severe economic impact…
And I’m worried about a month and a half’s pay. I feel like a fucking cockbag. I’d rather be out 5 grand than loose anyone I know.
I love my wife. Since the attack she has been keeping up on the Egyptian politics. She has been looking into getting some of our cash back from the travel agents. She has been up all night with me talking about how we could go anyway, and how it is almost our duty to not be afraid. Hell, she even said that if we didn’t go, and didn’t get our money back that we would be, in our small way, helping the Egyptian economy try to get back on its feet with our money. Helping those people who lost their livelihood try to get back on track.
I love my wife. She is an inspiration to me, and I would be lost without her. If anything happened to her, I would be finished. I don’t want to take her somewhere where last Saturday they blew up a hotel where people like us where sleeping.
88 people dead.
Hundreds wounded and maimed.

I wonder how Cancun is in September….
After all… Its only money

This is likely bullshit. Apparently this damn movie’s been going apeshit all over the place…Salon.com has a rundown on it. As far as I can tell, it’s a movie about how god is described by quantum mechanics. one of the onscreen personalities is a woman who claims to channel a 35,000-year-old spirit named Ramtha…reminds me of Doonesbury, if anyone reads that (obviously, I do). Boopsie channels an ancient warrior spirit who’s name excapes me, and who pops up randomly in the cute blonde to snarl and spit. It’s pretty funny.

As far as I can tell the movie is, in a big way, trying to recruit people for the Ramtha cult. John Gorenfeld, who’s probably my favorite journalist right now, is on it in the above-linked article (read his site for a LOT more disturbing stuff, including the GOP/Moonie operative making off with gorenfeld.com to try and mess with John for pointing out Moonies are insane). His Moonie blog is awesome, as well, and gives a lot of important background on the influence that South Korean convicted tax-evader Sun Myung Moon has on out highest elected officials, including owning the Washington Times and UPI. If you don’t read anything else, read this. It’s seriously fucked up.

Image used without permission. From http://www.iapprovethismessiah.com/

That’s Lake Chapalla, south of Guadalajara in ol’ Mexico. The lake is about as big as I’ve ever seen in my life…I’ve grown up in spittin distance of the ocean, and this lake was impressive. I had a lot of fun in Guadalajara, and I was just starting to get the hang of Spanish. Of course, I forgot it all immediately.

I’m reading a book called “Perfectly Legal” (Powell’s gives me money if you buy stuff from them with me as a referrer…whee) and it’s really disturbing. I’d recommend checking it out.

Read this article by the peerless Thom Hartmann. Click the links, listen to the audio, read the transcript. Tell me that there is not a cabal in power with a limited, corrupt worldview that is bent on sucking every single bit of wealth in the world into it’s ever-rumbling gut. I fucking dare you.