i will just do people’s bidding for lyrics from now on. first come first served.

Haunted
rEVOLVEr
“Abysmal”

Come a little bit closer.
So I can see what you taste like.
A pale face. A vision of suicide.
Dead ends and a St.Jude figurine.

Bury me in a shallow grave.
So the dogs can dig me out.
If I die tonight, well that suits me fine.
‘Caus I’d be better off covered in lye.

This one is abysmal.
This one is a oneway ticket down.
Some say there ain’t nothing to lose, but I lost that too.
So what am I gonna do?

I sold my soul for a reasonable stake.
The devil done paved the way.
And I’ll claim the prize ’til the day I go,
When all hell comes to carry me home.

A beckoning shape. A crow to lead me on.
Lower me down below.

This one is abysmal.
This one is a oneway ticket down.
Some say there ain’t nothing to lose, but I lost that too.
So what am I gonna do?

The Peripherol know the cold centre of hate,
It burns clean and kills the pain.
It’ll cut you open and spit in your eyes.

A foul spectacle to behold.

A beckoning shape. A crow to lead me on.
Lower me down the hatch and swallow me whole.

Here I go…

A crow to lead me on? what the hell is that about? what’s wrong with crows? they got a bad rap, man. crows are just birds. Ravens too.

MC Lars
Laptop EP
“Mr. Raven”

We got EAP in the house tonight, Edgar Allan Poe.
America’s favorite anti-transcendentalist.
We’re taking this back, way back, nineteenth century style.

Who’s that (who’s that) rapping?
Who’s that rapping at my chamber door?
Mr. (mister) Raven!
All up in my grill like, “Nevermore.”

Kick it! Once upon a midnight dreary,
while I kicked it weak and weary,
Dark and cold just like Lake Eerie,
Brand New sample, someone clear me.
While I nodded nearly napping,
suddenly there came a tapping.
Up like, “What?”, this thunder clapping
in my brain like graphic Halflings.
Staffing me, I put down Milton.
Cell phone mute like Paris Hilton.
Open window, halfway built-in.
Times a changing like Bob Dylan.
Twenty-pound bird black as could be,
cold feet cold eyes aimed straight at me.
Grim face, grim stare, death carnivore,
quothe that raven “Nevermore.”

Who’s that (who’s that) rapping?
Who’s that rapping at my chamber door?
Mr. (mister) Raven!
All up in my grill like, “Nevermore.”

I miss Lenore, my Annabel Lee,
taken by angels from me.
Alone with books (hey that’s me!),
harbinger of death visiting me.
I said, “Can I help you, evil prophet?
If you got a problem, look, I’ll solve it.”
He checked my hook, DJ revolved it,
perched on Pallas, chalice dropped it.
“Tell me sir, please, if you can.
Am I good or evil man?
What can I say, what can I do,
when will I be rid of you?”
“Nevermore,” quothe he at me,
hating on this fresh MC,
Satanic raven, Nietzche glee,
killing me softly like the Fugees.
Now I feel worse, my verse is terse,
joy inverse just like Fred Durst.
Call a nurse, disperse my thirst
put this process in reverse.
Wish I’d had some warning first,
MC Lars, ’88 hearse.
Now I’ll never be Slug or Murs,
under that black raven’s curse.
The raven’s eyes still have the seeming
of a demon that is dreaming,
Lamplight over him still streaming,
hear my screaming, hear me screaming!
My soul still floats there on that floor
and shall be lifted nevermore.
Afflicted calm, like Michael Moore,
canonized piece, US folklore.

Who’s that (who’s that) rapping?
Who’s that rapping at my chamber door?
Mr. (mister) Raven!
All up in my grill like, “Nevermore.”

Who’s house? Raven’s house!

All up in your grill, bitches.

You’re being called a right-wing propaganda outlet BECAUSE YOU ARE A RIGHT-WING PROPAGANDA OUTLET. Look in the mirror, look at your record, and look at your ownership. You’ve been a TV version of the Washington Times since DAY ONE.
I’ll add links to their resume throughout the day. send me an email if you have a real good one. Here’s a pic from Kos…find out where the funny “we report you decide” spin is.

woot

From Pharyngula, where i usually steal things from.

dig this asswipe doctor.

The doctor said he is just following his beliefs, creating a Christian atmosphere for his patients.

This is because the mother of the child, who was hurting from an ear infection, had tattoos. that was enough for a guy who presumably took an oath to help people to turn away a child in pain.

that’s christianity for you! at least american-style christianity. these creeps are the true face of “moral bankruptcy”.

idiots protesting a long-distant anscestor of our species in kenya.

when do we stop and say “hey, there’s no debate about evolution. it happens. stop saying it, religious idiots”? here’s what the leader of a kenyan pentacostal church had to say:

“I did not evolve from Turkana Boy or anything like it,” says Bishop Boniface Adoyo, head of Kenya’s 35 evangelical denominations, which he claims have 10 million followers. “These sorts of silly views are killing our faith.”

yes, you did. and i only hope your faith is killed. oh man, what a sweet dream.

God weighs in:

If My flock shies away from nonsense, they shy away from Me, and I take that very personally.

okay, i take it back. god is totally right.

i watched the futurecars show on discovery last night. the production was really slick, and a little lacking in depth, but still wowee stuff. the air car made me go whoo hoo! I’ve seen it before, but getting to see it drive around was neat.

also, a colossal squid was caught! fucking cool!

Colbert at last year’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
As Atrios noted earlier…it seems even gnarlier now. Total evisceration. Colbert just recently beat the holy hell out of Dinesh D’souza, that total scumbag. it was nice to watch.

Watch it, and stand in awe of Colbert’s massive, massive balls. The press conference skit was only so-so, but ripping the President that bad while he’s sitting right there. Awesome.

So…leaving now is disastrous. but staying is disastrous.
So we can’t leave, because it would wreck everything, but staying longer will just wreck it worse.

these fuckers have completely screwed everything up. i say leave now. at least a few more of our brave people won’t be killed in that quagmire. leave now and get someone mildly competent to run things.

last night, at o’sullivans for keri’s birthday, i had a creamer in my hand, one of those little plastic tubs with ridged sides that you can do so many fun tricks with. i was tryin to come up with a trick, but i didn’t want to get cream everywhere. i flicked it like a coin with my thumb across the table, and it landed exactly in a glass of water. that was neat.

a couple weeks ago elise and i were shooting at each other with those foam disc guns, and i shot one from my gun into the slot on her gun. my stepdad saw it (i had seen it but thought i was imagining things. that happens a lot) and yelled.

have you ever been lying in bed with someone, and they’re facing you, think reverse-spooning, and you aren’t quite ready to sleep, but they’re out and moving would be hard, and they have maybe some funny-smelling breath, and you don’t want to smell it the whole night. so you synchronize your breathing, breathing in when they breathe in, etc? or if they smell awesome, you do the opposite, breathing in when they breathe out, so as to maximize the breath-smelling going on? i do.

how come christmas trees so often go from an object of love to one of hate? about now, when some people (pointing at my office, where the kindling-dry tree still sits) still have them up, and they are dropping needles at an alarming rate. any spark in the vicinity would re-create the scene from Christmas Vacation. from such a tender symbol to pure hatred. like parents or co-workers.

yesterday i stole a basket from my office that had pears, apples, tiny cookies, sausage, cheese, and the most random square of yellow…cake? cornbread? i dunno. it was just stuck on the side of this odd basket. also, there were chocolate balls. none of it has tasted good so far. that basket: a disappointment.