it occurred to me while reading of the lying christian right’s attempts to smear Darwin with Hitler’s legacy that this activity is exactly the same as what has going on in the first decades of the 19th century: preachers, ideologues and believers attempting to obfuscate actual history and smear their opponents with the worst, most hideous offenses of their time. in the 1700-1800’s they’d use the Jacobin terrors of the French Revolution to tar people they despised, and now they use Hitler. I know there’s a whole science about when the H word comes up, but the exact correlation is pretty stunning.
i guess the god-guzzlers have a formula, and they stick with it.

I’m reading a book called “Freethinkers: A History of American Secularism”. It’s wonderful if at times a little pedantic. The author is attempting to correct a grave injustice, the systematic removal and suppression of atheists, freethinkers, and secularists, as well as radical liberal religionists, from the historical record. So far its a knockout, with occasional clever asides, sometimes snarky, thrown in.
In reading it I came across the name William Lloyd Garrison, who I dimly remembered. He was an abolitionist and journalist, and published The Liberator, a journal of the same issues. Here’s from his first print:

Assenting to the “self-evident truth” maintained in the American Declaration of Independence, “that all men are created equal, and endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights — among which are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” I shall strenuously contend for the immediate enfranchisement of our slave population. In Park-street Church, on the Fourth of July, 1829, in an address on slavery, I unreflectingly assented to the popluar but pernicious doctrine of gradual abolition. I seize this opportunity to make a full and unequivocal recantation, and thus publicly to ask pardon of my God, of my country, and of my brethren the poor slaves, for having uttered a sentiment so full of timidity, injustice and absurdity. A similar recantation, from my pen, was published in the Genius of Universal Emancipation at Baltimore, in September, 1829. My consicence in now satisfied. I am aware, that many object to the severity of my language; but is there not cause for severity? I will be as harsh as truth, and as uncompromising as justice. On this subject, I do not wish to think, or speak, or write, with moderation. No! no! Tell a man whose house is on fire, to give a moderate alarm; tell him to moderately rescue his wife from the hand of the ravisher; tell the mother to gradually extricate her babe from the fire into which it has fallen; — but urge me not to use moderation in a cause like the present. I am in earnest — I will not equivocate — I will not excuse — I will not retreat a single inch — AND I WILL BE HEARD.
— William Lloyd Garrison, “To the Public”, The Liberator, January 1, 1831

I’d recommend reading up on some of the notable American freethinkers and atheists, especially Thomas Paine, W G Garrison, and Ernestine Rose. I’m sure there’s many more that I’m unaware of, but I’m on my journey. I’ll come to them when I do.

i thought i’d leaven that last post with some less dirge-like shit that i think is funny.

Dane Cook:
Monopoly. Everyone has it. NOBODY likes it. Even if you think you like it, you don’t. It’s easy why…cause this is everyone here after two and a half hours into a game- (WHOOSH) FUCK this game! It’s four in the morning Grandma! YOU WIN!! I’m sitting on Baltic with crap! I’m paying luxury tax out the ass!! And I hate it when you’re the banker–where’d you get those pink fifties you cheating whore?! Don’t fuckin’ touch me grandpa, NANA is a cheating WHORE!! And I should cut your head off with this little doggy.”

Sound file. don’t tell anyone I posted this. Dane’s story of the first time he got head.

Emo Phillips made a joke voted one of the top 75 funniest ever, and the funniest religious joke ever:
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”
He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too!”
Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “DIE, HERETIC!” And I pushed him over.

Daniel Tosh quotes:

I always wondered if those WWJD bracelets worked, so I bought one the other day. Well, a few minutes later, I was on a plane and this little kid was kicking my seat repeatedly, while his sister sang along with her walkman and their mother just sat there. I almost turned around and went off, and then I caught sight of my bracelet. What WOULD Jesus do? So I lit them on fire and sent them all to Hell.

If “no” meant “no” then every man would die a virgin.

If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they’d taste like their ethnic background?

I have voices in my head, but they’re all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they’re saying.

I’m all for women who get plastic surgery. Because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fake.

I love women who say “I’m not religious, I’m spiritual”. It’s the same as when I say “I’m not honest, but you’re interesting.”

Sometimes, when I’m feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, ‘Hey, at least I’m not pregnant.’

KICK TO THE GROIN COMICS!

k, we good now?

i think i’ve come up with a method, a method to get through the nights. i cannot vouch for its originality…i believe it’s one that’s been employed for eons. but that very staying power makes me believe that it’s viable. it seems i can get through day and week and year and month by simply erasing myself, erasing my person, with either drink or whatever else comes available. i know it sounds terribly dramatic, but in reality it’s not, the idea is simply a reaction, like recoiling when you’re injured, to an untenable circumstance.
it’s similar, in a lot of respects, to watching someone’s blood drain out from a deep wound held tightly, manically, by the wounded. you see that rich black blood drop out, a glob at a time, spattering, and it’s one day. then the next drop, another day.
the holder of this terrible pact is dead, but they don’t know it, or decide to fight it, despite the fact of the inevitable victory of that oozing despot.
or, shit, it might just be the vodka talking

Sorry for the lengthly excerpt. This article over at Wolcott’s site is just too cutting and wonderful.

Conservative New York radio talkshow hothead Bob Grant once said on the air that then-New York mayor David Dinkins (a far more elegant dresser than Grant, by the way) reminded him of a “men’s room attendant”.

On Imus in the Morning, Imus or one of his crew once joked about the pre-Washington Week in Review Gwen Ifill: “Speaking of reporter Gwen Ifill, he’s said, ‘Isn’t the [New York] Times wonderful? It lets the cleaning lady cover the White House.'”

A week ago, Mickey Kaus’s arm candy wrote, “Congresswoman Maxine Waters had parachuted into Connecticut earlier in the week to campaign against [Sen. Joseph I.] Lieberman because he once expressed reservations about affirmative action, without which she would not have a job that didn’t involve wearing a paper hat.”

And now the cover of the latest Weekly Standard brings us Al Sharpton as a Driving Miss Daisy faithful retainer “who dares not look his master in the eye.”

Washroom attendant. Cleaning lady. Cafeteria worker. Chauffeur.

Notice a pattern?

my coworker called in sick today with a fucking hangover. what the fucking fuck? i wish i had the cajones to do that. shit, i was hungover this morning, i came in to work any-fucking-way. dick.

the mount soledad cross was transferred yesterday to federal ownership, showing once again that george bush has not seen a religious debacle he can stay out of. all the republicans involved are liars, they’re all claiming they’re trying to preserve a “war monument”. a war monument for only christians of course, and only christians who worship a cross. but that doesn’t matter to these fucking douchebags. speaking of which check out this pic:

the guy in the middle is my rep, brian “i’ve already voted myself a raise!” bilbray. i hope he falls in a vat of sewage and swallows a bunch of it.
don’t they look like republicans? like they’d kick your little dog? fucking dickbiters. they’ll bend over and cram a cross up their asses if it would shore up the loony vote. and it will of course.
there’s a tiny problem, in that 17 years (so far) of case law in this matter has said well no, it’s not kosher to have a giant torture device of great significance to one single religious sect (or group of sects) on publicly owned land. that’s my gripe too. if they sold that to a private party, hell, put a big penis and vagina combo on there. i don’t care. it’s private land. but it’s public land. i don’t know why the religionists aren’t upset about this. they seem, in recent years, more interested in shoving their bullshit fairy tales down people’s throats than in leading christ-like lives. i’m unimpressed.
here’s a couple other neat things about this bullshit: the senate voted unanimously to okay the transfer. the house voted 349-74. what the fuck? only 74 of the 500 some-odd reps could be counted on to say “hey, separation of church and state is a good thing”. fucking weak douchebags.
from the article: While Bush made no public statements after yesterday’s signing, the White House has said that “judicial activism should not stand in the way of the people” and that “the people of San Diego have clearly expressed their desire to keep” the cross where it stands.
what if it was an image of a mission indian being whipped by a jesuit? would that be cool if a majority of the people wanted it to stay? what about a vast majority? what if it was a jew being gassed by a mighty laughing german? cool if a majority supports it? this isn’t even in the realm of separation of church and state necessarily, but principled civilization.
this cross is a pro-christian religious symbol. the function of the courts is to intervene when the constitution is not being adhered to. the bush admin, the city of san diego, and all of the local republican congresspeople (and dianne feinstein and barbara boxer, don’t forget) are all wrong. it’s sick too. it makes me wonder why we bother. i mean, if we’re just going to throw over our nation to religious police forces, why are you fucking bothering? you fucking liars. you claim belief in a free and just society. unless you claim that freedom and justice for all, you’re a liar. and you know what these people are claiming in this matter? freedom and justice for christians, and only christians. and what’s more, only those that worship crosses.

so fuck you, and fuck your lies. you people are seriously pathetic.

Let’s drink til we can’t feel feelings anymore!

feh

today was weird and boring, but i did dominate the puzzle. at the nearby starbucks (which was once a rally burger, big buford no onions, put the fries ON THE BURGER, thank me for that later), i took the NYT out in the yard and put a real hurting on it, 15 minutes for a friday Times is a good one for me. i do have to adjust my streak though, since last week i missed one. i’m on 9 in a row. i don’t anticpate that changing, though i may have to do saturday’s at a different time, since i have crap to do. why are my weekends busier than my weekdays?
last night i sat around sully’s with k & j, we had pints and talked shit. good times. i hope keri figures out her cable problems.

The pricks on the con side of the aisle (funny huh) came up with a “funny” graphic mocking dems on security. it’s really clever, like a white flag that says “democratic national security plan” or some shit. retards. oliver willis had this up in response and i think it says it all.

Don’t ever fucking forget who was on the job, and who fucked it all up. Bush helped those people die. he directly helped kill the thousands that died in New Orleans that everyone basically is saying “eh?” about, mainly because they’re poor and black. and he has directly killed thousands, tens of thousands, fuck, who knows hundreds of thousands in the middle east.

So fuck that guy, fuck you lying cons for your lies and bullshit, and fuck the numbnuts half of the voters that put these shits in office. when do i start loading up the molotovs again? fucking retards.