So some esurance commercial comes on. it's a guy singing about how he gets animated about esurance, with a guitar. Get it? He's playing off how the commercials are animated, Genndy Tartakovsky-style.
I want to kill that commercial. I wish I was a D&D type magic-user who could cast spells reanimating the dead, or creating golems of inanimate materials (I realize that's clerics, but I also know you're a fucking geek now, so deal with that little nugget, you bastards), just so I could animate that commercial, and then kill it to death with my hands. I want to feel the life drain out of that horrible fucking abortion of a commercial's veins and hear its sputtering last breath. esurance is trying to cultivate this cooler-than-thou bullshit image. I know how bad they really suck. They tripled my rates after someone ran into me, and every time I see their spy-chick's fake perky boobies, I think to myself "Why can't the villains win? Just this once?"
Commercial, I hate you.