Babyfight Dispensing goo since 1999

23May/071

falwell ‘n’ lyrics

Liberty U student made some napalm and brought it to Falwell's funeral. The reason? Fred Phelps, of the Westboro Baptist Church, which was picketing Falwell for being... a friend of gays. Rrrright. Anyone need any more evidence that Phelps is nuttier than a fuckin huge tractor trailer full of fruitcakes? The special "Extra nuts for nut-lovers!" variety of fruitcake? With boxes made out of nuts?

Fuck you Fred Phelps

, and you too, Falwell. If there was a god, and it was anything like your biblical views, you'd both rot forever screaming in hell.

Hm. What kind of lyric today?

Jerry Falwell's God
Roy Zimmerman
"Homeland", 2004

Jerry Falwell's god was standing by the elevator while we were talking about the party, so we had to invite him.

Secretly, we were all wishing that he wouldn't come, because he's vengeful and jealous and he tends to smite people.

And, of course, he knew we were thinking that, so it made him all the more determined to show up and punish us.

And I wanted to invite my god, but I couldn't find him.

But, Jerry Falwell's god is hard to miss... the gossamer robe and the beard down to here, and the button that says, "What would Jesus do?"

And sure enough, day of the party, there he was at the door.

And he spoke, spaketh he, saying, "I AM COME."

And I knew there was a joke there... but Jerry Falwell's god will not be mocked.

So I said, "Come in."

Jerry Falwell's god
Jerry Falwell's god
Huh!

Now, I'm no heavenly host, but I throw a decent party, and there were people of all kinds there — black, white, Swedish, Norwegian, the whole human spectrum.

And right away, Jerry Falwell's god found the two people who would listen to him and began spaking in a voice so loud, it made the Beastie Boys sound like the Vienna Boys Choir.

And he made the lame to walk.

And these were my friends, so they were still lame, but they could walk.

And he turned the loaves to fishes, and the Oreos to Hydrox.

And he divided up the room, divided he, saying "Gays here, lesbians here, pagans here, abortionists, feminists, civil libertarians, People for the American Way," and frankly, some of us did not know where to stand.

I went with the lesbians.

Jerry Falwell's god
Jerry Falwell's god
Huh!

And he pointed his huge finger at each group in turn, saying, "I blame you, and you, and you, who have secularized society and cast me out of the town square," and I thought, "Man you are the town square."

He said, "Lo, I have lifted the Veil of Protection, for the end days are here, and the judgment is nigh, where I will draw the faithful to heaven and will leave the unrepentant to walk a desolate earth." And I thought, "More polyester for the rest of us."

And he spat fire, and he rained toads, and he brought forth seven bowls of seven plagues, and finally I just said, "Look, I'll tell you one thing Jesus would not do.

Jesus would not wreck a guy's party.

And Jesus would not preach hate.

And Jesus would not stand in the rubble and say, 'I told you so.'

And Jesus would not use an international catastrophe to score points for some misogynistic, narrow, homophobic, anti-Semitic interpretation of his life and teaching.

And if people are jealous and judgmental and vengeful and violent, maybe it's because you made them in your image.

And if people have cast you out of the town square, maybe it's because you are a finger-pointing, moralizing, rageaholic, stone drag who gives deities a bad name!

And if people have turned away from your word, maybe it's because you have spinach in your teeth!"

And he smote me.

Jerry Falwell's god
Jerry Falwell's god
Huh!

18Apr/071

fucking pricks

westboro baptist church, which claims to speak for god, plans to protest the funerals of the victims of the Virginia Tech massacre. They claim to speak for God. Can you support this god?

WBC to Preach at Funerals of Virginia Tech Dead
WBC will preach at the funerals of the Virginia Tech students killed on campus during a shooting rampage April 16, 2007. You describe this as monumental horror, but you know nothing of horror — yet. Your bloody tyrant Bush says he is ‘horrified’ by it all. You know nothing of horror — yet. Your true horror is coming. “They shall also gird themselves with sackloth, and horror shall cover them; and shame shall be upon all faces, and baldness upon all their heads” (Eze. 7:18).

Why did this happen, you ask? It’s simple. Your military chose to shoot at the servants of God today, and all they got for their effort was terror. Then, the LORD your God sent a crazed madman to shoot at your children. Was God asleep while this took place? Was He on vacation? Of course not. He willed this to happen to punish you for assailing His servants.

This is the face of god-worship taken to a logical extreme. this is the face of the crusades, and the inquisition, and every holy fuckwit who thought that he could HURT someone into being what HE thought was right. this is religion. so look on it. when the fallen students who did nothing other than attend their classes are laid to rest, a few dozen assholes under the banner of god will heckle and scream at their parents and loved ones gathered to grieve. Is this what you think of when you ponder religion? it should be, because it is the face of it. so don't shrink away. if you're really religious, or spiritual, or whatever halfwit fucking bullshit you invent to justify your prostrating to some made-up invisible shithead, then this is your spokesperson, in the form of the westboro baptist church.
i recommend that anyone in the area of any of these protests (while 33 funerals of individuals who attended a large university might be hard to completely canvas) come out and let WBC know what they think, of their protests, of their bullshit, of their bile-filled hate. let them know loudly and assertively. because there's one thing over the top of their god-fellating, and that's HUMANITY. and the fucking shit-eating asshole Fred Phelps of the WBC has today forsaken his membership card in the club called HUMANITY, in favor of his jesus-fucking. he should be treated as such.